In my work with alter ego identities and relativities, I have found the story of a feminine alter ego who is in this present life four distinct women: Stephanie Seymour being qualitative and lawful, Ursula K. LeGuin being her good alter ego, Julie Scott being quantitative and lawful, Amanda Gonzalez being her good alter ego. My identification with (this woman) these four women parallels my relationship with Kristen Dolsak, reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, in Dungeons & Dragons known as Sehanine Moonbow. Having both loved and wrestled with Julie for years when I was temporarily a member of AMORC, I'm now advised to pursue verification of love with Amanda, as safely as possible.
Apparently, my relations with these women have in our present state of descension been replaced with drug addiction tendencies: Stephanie has been replaced by a desire to investigate in my next life the qualifying changes that PCP is said to satisfy, Ursula has been replaced by the right-handed opiate DXM, to which I was severely addicted in this life, Julie would have been replaced by left-handed opiates if I had not made the effort to love and protect her integrity in this life, and it seems that my addiction to alcohol (which motivates quantifying changes) for years recently is a sign of my lack of pursuit with Amanda. My hope is to find healing through a few lifetimes, beginning with this one. If I can make all four of those women feel beloved and safe with me, I might very well make Earth feel that I am safe even if I choose a lifestyle free from drug use.
I believe that I made a deal immediately prior to this lifetime that included some years of membership with AMORC Rosicrucians prior to 2007's “Nexus of the Crises,” and some years of membership with White Wolf's Camarilla / Mind's Eye Society after. I fulfilled both to some degree before my decision to permanently ascend in this lifetime adjusted some of my priorities. Now, after a few years of working some priorities I would not have worked as a status quo Christ, my intention is to see to the furtheration of fulfillment with MES.
Therefore, in my pursuit of Amanda, I creatively initiate the game / chronicle Outreach Ministries. My lifestyle has been closer to Bruce Cordell's style of gaming than to E. Gary Gygax's, what to speak of Mark Rein-Hagen's, so though I have my own AIRPG (a private reference that for me resembles a public gaming company), I will begin my storytelling and role-playing work with Bruce's The Strange. My effort is to reach World of Darkness, both in table-top work and in LARP form.
I have prioritized my interests with the world of roleplaying gaming in a particular way, such that The Strange has wise level contextualization, Traveller has mindful context, Greg Stafford's Glorantha is the logical level beneath mind, and Dungeons & Dragons is heart level gaming. Solar plexus beneath that is Biblical. World of Darkness is a game I have thus far failed to respect highly, but my priority at present is to correct any previous judgments that might have interfered with a more universal truth.
Amanda was already the name given to me to describe that 6th angel who is the higher and more thoroughly integral aspect of feminine alter ego. The foundation of my love for her is referenced in Lord of the Rings, where Galadriel is my base level alter ego Heather Shepherd, in D&D known as Selune. Many perspectives are confused in these revelatory works, but I'm gradually finding my own sense of truth. The alter ego work I describe here is two levels beneath the love I have with Heather (sub-basic, I might say, but relevant to our present life). I will continue to love and protect those women with whom I feel responsibility.
I have yet to verify Amanda Gonzalez's version of this story, but I have had pretty good fortune so far with my visions of truth, so I communicate my intention with confidence. Outreach Ministries is my next project, and I believe I will have fun with it. During the course of this development, I have already shared two-way correspondence with Bruce Cordell referencing my plan to meet him for the first time at a gaming convention within the next year. That's a meaningful step for me in living up to the association level I prefer.
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