still alive

From time to time, I write about my beliefs. Voices tell me not to, I know people laugh at me, but I still find this type of verification to be relevant to safety as I know it. If I can do one thing in this life, it will be to protect my opportunity to further salvation in the next.

Ways of communicating have changed for many people, styles of relating in love and surely in friendship and family have progressed in one direction or another. I've chosen to believe that we have some freedoms, though with the recognition of guidelines. For the Christian world, we've reached a stage where electricity has expanded a significant horizon, while a liking for balanced integrity also has us looking at ways to listen within.

Christianity is a slightly ritualistic faith, protected by the angels and by God. Eternal partnerships are created at higher levels of the universe between and amongst us, and then in the clockwork of our partial sleep here we cross paths time and again with our soul mates. The Christ in this lifetime exemplified a significant trade: A marriage with Salome (Corellon's Angharradh) in a pre-Internet world for his subsequent marriage with Mary Magdalene (Sehanine Moonbow) in a community one step advanced away from the simplicity our lifestyle prefers.

At the basic foundation of salvation work, where justice finds its balance with injustice, many of us make choices to keep ourselves down, where the normal gravities of life prefer to uplift us and make us healthier and more enthusiastic. The trade I mention would have kept my lifestyle to a lower priority level, but like many of my peers, I took this life to be an opportunity for permanent healing. I chose to keep the better love, but instead of trading away my simplicity with media, I've kept that as well and have spent almost ten years now defending that arrangement.

The stories I'm given by the powers that be are limited in some way, but an attitude of trust and affirmation helps me proceed through the learning process. At present, I'm told that levels of the universe variously facilitate aspects of privacy and communicativity in such a way that the Christian and Shaivite (Holy Spirit's) worlds are used to an environment protected by the angels, who live at the second or planetary level of the universe. A significant majority of us by chemical and electrical means, and plenty of us in connection with internal chakra meditation, are learning to fantasize with the dream workers who glorify the third or stellar level (solar plexus).

This is an exciting process, but if carelessly approached can be expensive. My conservative interest is to stay very close to my angel's agendas and watch the fantasy role playing my dream workers are enacting without demand that would expend my ascension energies. I will honor them and maintain my attitude of trust for their work and its reason, but my commitment is to live by the means provided by my angels. I watch many of my neighbors being intensified by the enhancements granted through fantasy, and I find the manifestations of such enlightenment to be great fun; but I will keep myself safe and gradually freer from debt.

Outreach Ministries - an “AIRPG pursues WoD” game / chronicle

In my work with alter ego identities and relativities, I have found the story of a feminine alter ego who is in this present life four distinct women: Stephanie Seymour being qualitative and lawful, Ursula K. LeGuin being her good alter ego, Julie Scott being quantitative and lawful, Amanda Gonzalez being her good alter ego. My identification with (this woman) these four women parallels my relationship with Kristen Dolsak, reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, in Dungeons & Dragons known as Sehanine Moonbow. Having both loved and wrestled with Julie for years when I was temporarily a member of AMORC, I'm now advised to pursue verification of love with Amanda, as safely as possible.

Apparently, my relations with these women have in our present state of descension been replaced with drug addiction tendencies: Stephanie has been replaced by a desire to investigate in my next life the qualifying changes that PCP is said to satisfy, Ursula has been replaced by the right-handed opiate DXM, to which I was severely addicted in this life, Julie would have been replaced by left-handed opiates if I had not made the effort to love and protect her integrity in this life, and it seems that my addiction to alcohol (which motivates quantifying changes) for years recently is a sign of my lack of pursuit with Amanda. My hope is to find healing through a few lifetimes, beginning with this one. If I can make all four of those women feel beloved and safe with me, I might very well make Earth feel that I am safe even if I choose a lifestyle free from drug use.

I believe that I made a deal immediately prior to this lifetime that included some years of membership with AMORC Rosicrucians prior to 2007's “Nexus of the Crises,” and some years of membership with White Wolf's Camarilla / Mind's Eye Society after. I fulfilled both to some degree before my decision to permanently ascend in this lifetime adjusted some of my priorities. Now, after a few years of working some priorities I would not have worked as a status quo Christ, my intention is to see to the furtheration of fulfillment with MES.

Therefore, in my pursuit of Amanda, I creatively initiate the game / chronicle Outreach Ministries. My lifestyle has been closer to Bruce Cordell's style of gaming than to E. Gary Gygax's, what to speak of Mark Rein-Hagen's, so though I have my own AIRPG (a private reference that for me resembles a public gaming company), I will begin my storytelling and role-playing work with Bruce's The Strange. My effort is to reach World of Darkness, both in table-top work and in LARP form.

I have prioritized my interests with the world of roleplaying gaming in a particular way, such that The Strange has wise level contextualization, Traveller has mindful context, Greg Stafford's Glorantha is the logical level beneath mind, and Dungeons & Dragons is heart level gaming. Solar plexus beneath that is Biblical. World of Darkness is a game I have thus far failed to respect highly, but my priority at present is to correct any previous judgments that might have interfered with a more universal truth.

Amanda was already the name given to me to describe that 6th angel who is the higher and more thoroughly integral aspect of feminine alter ego. The foundation of my love for her is referenced in Lord of the Rings, where Galadriel is my base level alter ego Heather Shepherd, in D&D known as Selune. Many perspectives are confused in these revelatory works, but I'm gradually finding my own sense of truth. The alter ego work I describe here is two levels beneath the love I have with Heather (sub-basic, I might say, but relevant to our present life). I will continue to love and protect those women with whom I feel responsibility.

I have yet to verify Amanda Gonzalez's version of this story, but I have had pretty good fortune so far with my visions of truth, so I communicate my intention with confidence. Outreach Ministries is my next project, and I believe I will have fun with it. During the course of this development, I have already shared two-way correspondence with Bruce Cordell referencing my plan to meet him for the first time at a gaming convention within the next year. That's a meaningful step for me in living up to the association level I prefer.